No Room at the Inn

So it's that time of year again. Filling out the census, affirming our place in the British society as a tea drinking patriot. Flicking through the census with a cup of coffee I leisurely tick the 'female' gender box *breasts, vagina, female, eggs, ability to have babas all that shabang* 'yes that's right' I muse to myself. It's quite easy for me to identify my gender, i've never had a problem with it, i've always identified as a woman, im sure erm Bob Smith could easily tick the 'male' box while scratching his bits.

Binary boxes, sitting their like filing cabinets, ready to categorise everyone into a neat little blue/pink gender packet. We do it with newborns why not do it with everyone? Great system but it doesn't really work does it? Where's the inter-sex, the pangender, the androgynous boxes, I know i'm listing nearly all of them here, but excuse me for asking 'why don't the trans-community' get a mention in our NATIONAL census!

(taken from the brilliant resource 'understanding gender')

1) Gender Identity

One's innermost concept of self as male or female or both or neither—how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One’s gender identity can be the same or different than the sex assigned at birth. Individuals are conscious of this between the ages 18 months and 3 years. Most people develop a gender identity that matches their biological sex. For some, however, their gender identity is different from their biological or assigned sex. Some of these individuals choose to socially, hormonally and/or surgically change their sex to more fully match their gender identity.


2) Gender Expression

Refers to the ways in which people externally communicate their gender identity to others through behavior, clothing, haircut, voice, and other forms of presentation. Gender expression also works the other way as people assign gender to others based on their appearance, mannerisms, and other gendered characteristics. Sometimes, transgender people seek to match their physical expression with their gender identity, rather than their birth-assigned sex. Gender expression should not be viewed as an indication of sexual orientation.

3)Gender Fluid

Gender fluidity conveys a wider, more flexible range of gender expression, with interests and behaviors that may even change from day to day. Gender fluid children do not feel confined by restrictive boundaries of stereotypical expectations of girls or boys. In other words, a child may feel they are a girl some days and a boy on others, or possibly feel that neither term describes them accurately.


So there's a man, who likes to dress as a woman, but still identifies as a man

And there's a person who doesn't want to catergorise themselves in the pink and blue city's, and hell why should they? Everyone else will so why should they have to?

And this person has two types of sex organs, or mixed sex organs, and they like to live as a woman, so what to they put?

Methinks we should start using this gender spectrum for our census, no one knows about it AND THEY SHOULD! It's like the Kinsey scale, people need to know the methods to understand eachother better, maybe the trans community would be alot more accepted if society understood their logic!

So I propose

Gender

Gender Expression  Male   Female   Other?

Gender Identity       Male Female Other

Sex  Male Female Male/Female Other

Ok..so that is a bit patchy, and its a pie in the sky method, it'll never happen but i'm sure if it did our country census reserachers would get a little shock about their population

So let's at least have a transgender option on next years census?

Drew a wee cartoon to make this issue less annoying, Rainbow Androgynyne Yay (I know I spelt it wrong)

 The star person's saying "what about me i'm the adrogynyne!"...although it does look very male, its hard to draw something with neutral gender attributes..hmmm

Just my 2 cen - sus mahaha..sigh xx

A Cyclical Dilemma

Sometimes life throws you little snippets of knowledge, that somewhat help you to understand it's crazed confusion. I've just been thrown one of these, allebeit not in the best form.

Pretty much every arguement i've had/been told about by a friend/family member/ priest? Has the same cycle, I could just be acting terribly all - knowing and presumptuous but here goes

1st Stage

The argument starts off from one comment (usually) one, that has pissed someone off. What makes it an argument is that the person who was responsible for this comment, feels they have a reason to respond back to it, in a snappy fashion. This game of bat and ball continues for quite a while.

2nd Stage

Unchartered Terriotry - Having run out of things to say about said topic (i.e why you kept baked beans in a tin in the fridge) the argument goes off on other tangents, related at first, stemming to the unrelated as the tirade goes on.

3rd Stage - 'oops i did it again'

This is possibly the worst stage for one of the participants. This is when everything that is said before is forgotten and this one comment is golden. The personal comment

trivial trivial trivial..oh. went too far. went waaaay too far

and here we find ourselves at the apologetic stage, here one person will be feeling smug as the other apologises copious amounts for their misconduct, I guess this is where I am right now

4th Stage - Forgiveness

The last rolo and maybe some make-up sex?

What i'm hoping is that this argument cycle is fullproof, that I have cracked human nature and that I understand you like the back of my hand. When i'm paniced I logically think about something, however what i'be neglected to think of is that you are a human being, with feelings, and I am an ASS

A triumph for the Trans community!

Picture the scene,smells of bento and noodles wafting around the air folks hurrying around with plates of sushi piled high and me and my uncle, dragging a huge beast of a suticase through the mouth of the anthill that is Kings Cross, talking about trans rights..of all things!

My uncle was telling me about the establishment he works in, as my jaw was dropped further towards the scuffed floor. The things that he was telling me seemed like myths, as if human rights had got hold of a time turner and we were back in the pink triangle ages where everyone spoke polari and gay was a disease.

 Prisoners that are transitioning (Male to female or female to male) will still be put in a institute of the sex that they were born with, i.e a male to female transexual will be put in a male prison, even if they are becoming female. Trans prisoners will get their prescripted hormone's taken off them, basically stopping their transition all together.

Opressive and soul destroying?

SO THIS IS WHY THIS ARTICLE ON PINK NEWS MAKES ME INDESCRIBABLY HAPPY *GRINS*

"New Guidelines for Transgender Prisoners"

New Ministry of Justice guidelines set out rights for transgender prisoners, including what they may wear and how prison staff should treat them.

The rules, which come into force on March 14th, tell prison officers that they must allow trans prisoners to wear make-up, gender appropriate clothing and prostheses, such as bra inserts.
The document says: “An establishment must permit prisoners who consider themselves transsexual and wish to begin gender reassignment to live permanently in their acquired gender.
“Transsexual people, particularly those who have not undergone surgery or extended hormone therapy, may use various items to assist with their presentation in their acquired gender. These can range from sophisticated prostheses to padded bras.
“Regardless of their level of sophistication, access to them can only be restricted in exceptional circumstances.
“These items may only be prohibited when it can be demonstrated that they present a security risk which cannot be reasonably mitigated.”
Transgender people who are undergoing medical treatment to change sex are required to live in the sex they are changing to for a period of time. This is known as real life experience or real life test.
The guidelines say trans prisoners will be permitted to order appropriate clothes at their own expense and staff should address them by their chosen names and titles. Prison officers must currently address inmates as Mr, Miss or Ms.
Trans women who are legally recognised in their new gender must be placed in female prisons unless there are security reasons not to do so, the document says.
Those who have not yet acquired a Gender Recognition Certificate will not automatically be placed in the appropriate prison. Instead, the document says, a meeting will be held to determine where they should be placed.
Rules say: “This is a legal issue rather than an anatomical one, and under no circumstances should a physical search or examination be conducted for this purpose.”
Trans campaigners estimate that there are between 20 and 30 trans individuals in UK prisons at any time.

I actually did a small victory dance when I read this, this morning. It's something i'm campaigning for in our LGBT uni society just now, and we're having an event called "Gender Behind Bars : The facts" where we'll screen the documentary "Cruel and Unusual" about trans-life in prisons, and have a skype chat with the director Janet Baus too!

Now we can watch that documentary knowing that those mistreated human beings will never be mistreated like that again in the UK. The documentary really is very harrowing but I would encourage you to watch it, there are some horrific scenes, but it really illustrates just how bad trans discrimination in prisons can be.

Sure, the new guidelines do not state that trans-prisoners can be given hormones, but at least they can wear what they feel comfortable in and not be mocked for it, this new legislation gives me hope for fighting trans discrimination, who knows, we may even reach a point where trans people feel that a prison is a safespace for them (although obviously you wouldn't encourage them to be in one).

This day marks a huge milestone in human rights, I am so pleased to see people taking notice of this travesty and working against it.

Very happy bunny today, shall we mark it with a wee poem?

Love on the Wing

The bars around me are steel

Long poles that hold me captive

Like voodoo pins

My confidence stabbed like soft raw meat

By their piercing words.

Today

As I pull back the itchy woollen blanket

The sun seems brighter

It seems to skewer the black blinds

Like a hot poker

Leaves a burn triumphant stain

The bars that incase my pink heart

Feel fluid

I feel I could break the binary

That holds me static in a symbols womb.

Mould the symbols like plasticine.

My hands Mix blue with pink,

Sculpt new meanings

New beginnings.

Today I wore lipstick on the wing

They couldn’t shout or jeer

Kept quiet by the golden laws

That some choose not to hear

When god made adam out of rib

He set the binary

And now we’re breaking bars like twigs

And now we’re breaking free

I'll edit this at some point, but for now i'll say goodnight, you beautiful world

xxxxxx

LDR's and a bit of a Hufuffle

Hi

So apparently my old blog got deleted, don't know how why or when but its existance is cyberspace is no more, or not that I can find anyway. That aspect of the internet really scares me, you post your life to a site like facebook or myspace, and then one day it just ceases to exist. Let me suggest the unthinkable, facebook might break down, brides would lose their wedding photos, their scanned in faded family pictures, photos of loved ones, messages from loved ones. I have automatic backup software on my laptop, because I lost all my music, and poetry through one swift swipe of my macbook onto the floor, the situation actually ripped me to pieces, i felt lost without my history i'm never doing that again!

Onto more pressing matters, that are pressing on my mind so much right now that I feel it might implode.. long distance relationships. Ah the LDR's everyone has a different view of them, some of us are in one, some wish we were in one, some avoid and wouldn't touch them with long pointy objects i.e bargepoles, or maybe something more modern..lightsabers?

I've had a very good education on the LDR's (i'm making them sound a bit like drugs..) now this may seem a very narrow minded view, I don't mean to offend or anger people who are long distance lovers, it can be a great thing, a special special treasured thing, but I know that I could never do it myself.

I'm breaking it down to the basics here, long distance love can turn into obsession, paranoia. you're always wondering where they are, that good looking girl just poked them on facebook now you're in tears with a tub 'o' hagen Daaz wondering where it all went wrong. The distance does distance us! It does make us worry, espescially if you're in a wee fledgling relatioship, because how the heck do you know your partners boundaries? How can you tell that look in their eye over skype, over an instant message? And another question, how can you live your life without that big part of your life?

I feel I sound cynical, I'm still in a relationship with the woman that I LDR'd (heh heh) all last summer, lets just say summer last year = torture. Jobless, directionless, confused it was not a good mix! However having someone who I could talk to on the phone every night really helped, and I think to be honest, if that person had been there I may of been tempremental with them, snapped, cried all the stuff that you don't want to offload on someone everyday.     
                                                                                                                                              
  I admit sometimes we'd be having a lovely conversation and I'd be like "god I just want her here to kiss damnit!" but on the bright side, I never worried, I never thought "oh god she's going out on the piss this will be the doomsday for our love" I trusted her, something that made me appreciate her so much more, and she trusted me. We would talk pretty much everyday, me lieing on the grass with my legs crossed and the phone pressed against my ear so it felt like she was right next to me..it became a nice ritual for us, I would call her after i'd gotten home from work, it was nice I could cope, but nice only works for so long... nice isn't human skin or play fighting nice is bearable, just.

But for those of you who are struggling to keep the LDR fresh  :-

• Watch a film with eachother over the phone or on skype, laugh at it together cry at it together (creepy horror films are not advised), recreate being there with them.
• Send eachother small gifts/letters in the post, it'll leave them smiling and thinking about you all day.
• Do something romantic for them and take a picture of it to send them. Write your names in the sand, etch them onto a tree, arrange pebbles in a heart shape whatever the heck you wanna do but again it'll remind them that you're thinking of them always.

Night World, Beijos xXx