It's been really sunny in Dundee of late. Sunny enough to go jogging (whilst not getting caught in torrential hail - has happened before) sunny enough for people not to care about your outfit and give you dissaproving looks as you schlomp in the street donning a sonic youth tee and jogging pants. And, sunny enough to take a nice trip to the erotic emporium aka Dundee's creepy sex shop.
This shop amuses me in man different ways. It's like a cartoon sex shop, or how I imagine a sleazy backstreet shop in Amsterdam to look, there it is nestled in between the homely looking "peggy's pantry" and a fragrant flower shop, except it doesn't really 'nestle' more blares out S-E-X with leather corsets and dildos peeking over the semi-tasteful window display. There's a 60 year old man who runs it, with a roving eye who once said he could "order something special in" for me and my girlfriend..whatever that means. It kind of made us sound sexually disabled. This man obviously knows his stuff, he's got a right little Alladins cave in that place everything from gags to freaking fetish feet (modelled on the feet of a porn star - boke).
What amuses me is the beautfiul etiquette that people use in this sleazebucket...the lady in the bank is never this nice to me, although I guess i'm not asking her which buttplug to buy, maybe if I did she'd crack a smile.. the conversations in that shop highly amuse me, its like British aristocracy with dirty words thrown in I love it!
Creepus: "Hello sir how can I help you today?" (said in a put on posh accent)
Customer: "Hello. I'd like to purchase a waterproof strap on"
Creepus: Ah I see, we have a variety of those I can show you a selection if you want.."
Customer: "That would be excellent, thankyou"
Creepus: "Do you know that you can also stick this on the window, it has suction cups"
Customer: Really..fascinating
(some words have been stolen from the L Word)
It's like he was choosing a tie at Harrods, seriously hilarious although he asked questions such as "can I attatch another dildo to this? BEST PLACE for people watching everrrr, and one time I saw an ancient old lady in there and silently squealed with disgusted glee.
God., I've made myself sound like a regular sex shop creep..oh well I needed to tell the blogosphere
Rose out..i've copied that from the icooper column in 'i' newspaper, I have a big man crush on that one, must be his cynicism.
x
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